The Real Kitty Wilde
by xxEllieJellyxx
Summary: What if Kitty wasn't as flawless as everyone thought? What if she got hurt too? What if she didn't know what to do about it? Please read and leave any comments :) This story contains dark themes (Eating disorder, self harm and some bad language) Stories like this are probably already on here but this idea came to me a few weeks ago when I was re-watching old episodes :)
1. Chapter 1

**Please read and leave any comments :) Using Pretty Little Liars names here as I can't think of any others right now :) (And Kitty's transformation is very Hanna-Marin-esque!) Stories like this are probably already on here but this idea came to me a few weeks ago when I was re-watching old episodes :)**

**Prologue**

_11 year old Katrina is sitting alone on the swing in her school's playground. All the other kids are playing games with their friends, not noticing the lonely girl swinging unhappily by herself. Three girls, Ali, Aria and Hanna, start to strut towards her, Ali leading the others. "Aw look at the poor little loner with no friends!" She sneers, before shoving Katrina's chest and making her fall. The little girl just lies there, hoping that her tormentors might go away if she doesn't retaliate. However the three girls come closer towards her and Ali squats down beside her. _

"_Listen here, Katrina-no-friends. Nobody wants you here. You have no friends, you're fat and you're ugly. You should just leave and never, ever, come back; No one would miss you." The poor girl stays there motionless, as she tries to stop herself from crying ._

"_Ali.." Aria begins, looking desperately at her friend and running her fingers through her shoulder-length hair. "She gets it, let's just leave her now."_

_The group's leader stands quickly and turns to the other two. "What? You're trying to say that this loser doesn't deserve this?" She demands angrily. " You know it's true. Or do you want to be friends with _her_ instead? Try it Aria, but know this: You'll have no friends either. Come on Han, let's go back over there. We don't want to catch dork germs. Coming Aria?"_

_The two blondes flounce of, leaving the brown haired girl standing by the swings. She turns to Katrina, who's still lying on the floor ,but doesn't help her and instead runs off after her friends. The 'loser' is left there and sits up, promising herself that she won't be like this at big school, she won't be like this again._

_Katrina endured her last years at middle school before her dad got a promotion and moved to Lima, Ohio. Seeing her chance, she reinvented herself and became the most popular girl in school. She said goodbye to Katrina and hello to Kitty. The girl with the hot boyfriend, a body to die for and the perfect life. Or maybe it's not so perfect…_

**Four Years Later….**

**Kitty's POV**

I let out a gasp as I drag the blade further up my thigh ,a gasp which soon turns into a sigh of relief as the high from the pain washes over me. Mesmerized, I watch the crimson liquid seep out, painting my skin the colour of newly bloomed poppies. I dab at the cut with a tissue and then throw it into my wicker bin and reluctantly drop the blade onto the sink. It takes all my will power to stop myself from doing it again, but I know I'll be late for school if I do and I'm going to have to get dressed quickly.

I walk out of my en suite and, after locking the door behind me, pull my t-shirt over my head and catch sight of myself in my full length mirror. My stomach is sticking out over my pink and white striped shorts, and is covered with cuts, old and recent, deep and barely grazing the skin. That's one of the few places I feel like I can cut; nobody will ever see there.

I know that wrists are more popular spots but I can't risk that-not when I'm made to wear that friggin' Cheerios uniform every single day. I have my hands over my stomach, peering anxiously at my bloated reflection, when I hear a shout from downstairs.

"For fuck's sake! Are you ready yet you stupid bitch? I have a client coming over and I don't want you getting in the way!" I bristle at mom's words. A '_client.'_ My dad left us last year, completely out of the blue, and he rarely remembers to send my mom money so she found a new job. A job that involves lots of 'clients' or rather, dirty old men with too much money and no morals.

"Almost!" I call back, pulling my shorts off and my uniform on. I gather my hair into a high pony and, after securing it with a red hair tie, brace myself for another day of secrets and lies. I pick up my bag and rush down the stairs and out the front door, purposely avoiding my mother and the kitchen- the mirror has proven that I'm going to have to lose a few more pounds so I can't let myself even be tempted.

**Sorry this chapter is really short but future chapters (If you want more) will be longer! I just need to go and shower now :') Okay please leave reviews if you want me to continue! And who Kitty's boyfriend should be: Jake, Ryder, An OC footballer, Or if you want her to be a secret lesbian and I'll turn this into a Karley fic ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the feedback last chapter! Please leave some for this one too-especially if you have any ideas or if you want an update :) And thank you to the followers too! (Btw: Marley hasn't dated Jake in this fic-he never broke up with Kitty and this is set like just before the Glease episode)**

I sigh as I arrive in front of the gates and, holding my head high, plaster my Queen Bitch smirk on my face. When I reach my locker, I see Jake leaning against it and grinning at me. He stands up straight then cups his hand around my cheek.

"Hey there kitty-cat." He says, his lips brushing against mine. "Are we still on for tonight at mine?"

I breath in sharply; I know he's going to want to hook up; he's been hinting for weeks. I've been putting it off because I obviously couldn't just refuse; I'm _Kitty Wilde._ My reputation would be ruined if word got around that I didn't put out, but I've never done it before and truthfully, I've always imagined it being more special than just some high school boyfriend that I didn't even like that much. Especially as there's someone else that I've fantasised about doing it with: someone completely different, someone who's watching us from the end of the hallway, but I can't let anyone know about that.

"Of course baby." I reply, as seductive as I can manage, before slipping away from him and opening my locker. I consult my timetable and, after seeing that I have free period first, shove my books inside and take out my purple gym bag. One whole hour for me to hit the elliptical and treadmill.

"What's that for?" Asks Jake, gesturing to my hands. "We never take books to free period; I thought we were going to slip off for a make out session under the bleachers again?"

"Yeah I know…" I reply, closing the locker door and walking towards the girl's changing room. "They're not books- it's a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Coach is hounding me and insisting that I lose at least ten pounds by the end of the month, or I'll lose my spot as head cheerleader. I'm sorry, but I'll have to skip our session today."

The bell rings then and he promises to cover for me in fee period so, after pecking his cheek, I open the door and enter the changing room, sighing in relief when I see that it's empty. I pull the top part of my uniform over my head when the door opens and I hear tentative footsteps. I hear a gasp as I turn around, covering my bra and chest with my arms. I was met with an all-too-familiar brunette, also holding a purple bag.

"Marley?! What are you doing here?" I ask, looking her up and down. "I never thought of you as one to skip class."

"I..I" she stutters, trying to think of an answer. I roll my eyes and, after placing my hands on my hips, raise an eyebrow.

"You what?" I press, before realising that she's staring at my stomach. Oh crap. I turn around quickly but it's too late.

"Kitty? Kitty please turn around." She says, her voice sounding worried. That can't be right- why would she be worried about me? My own mother doesn't even care, I don't see why the girl that I've been torturing for months would. I do as she asks with a quick spin, tears forming in my eyes.

"What?" I demand, staring her right in the eyes. "Happy now? Now that you realise that I'm not perfect? And you can see my body for what it really is- all my fat and scars?"

She steps closer towards me, her face full of pity and what looks like concern. Bleugh. I can't stand people pitying me.

"You're not fat Kitty. Can't you see what you're doing to yourself? I can see your ribs-but only barely underneath all these cuts. Kitty why didn't you tell anyone?" she enquires gently. "There's a whole glee club that would-"

"Don't give me any of that crap." I interrupt fiercely. "They all hate me in there- Jake is the only one that actually seems to care about me, and that's only because he wants to get in my pants. You don't know what I'm going through Marley- you don't know anything about me."

"But I know what it's like." She whispers, lifting her sleeve. I see a myriad of almost faded slashes all over her arm slim stomach and I gasp, I had no idea we were that alike. "Kitty, I'm not perfect either but this isn't the way to deal with it. Aside from the fact that cuts are a bitch to hide."

Unable to help myself, I let out a small giggle before turning away again and pulling on my top. I then slide my sweatpants on under the skirt, and wriggle out of it. When I turn back to face her, I see that she's wearing identical clothing. We don't say anything but we both know why we're here, and in that moment it's as if we're united, even if it's not in the best possible way.

I plug my earphones into my iPod and place them in my ears then, for the next forty five minutes, I work harder than normal, motivated by knowing that Marley will see me getting changed again.

**Sorry it's not that long I have a bit of a problem that my mum has just sprung on me and it's my dad- he might be dying but I haven't seen him since I was eight (which is six years ago) because he was a really violent drunk and he tried to strangle my mum right in front of me so we left and never went back but he's been trying to see me and my brother this year and I have the chance to on Thursday (my brother is refusing to see him) and I don't know if I should. He always seemed to hate me and I know he favoured my brother because he was forever screaming and throwing things at me but I know I'll feel awful if something happens to him. Sorry for the rant there but can you please leave any thoughts I'm really stuck :( Sorry for this huge paragraph and it probably doesn't make sense I just can't think straight right now. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the late update! Hope you enjoy :) Please leave feedback!**

I turn the treadmill off and, after taking a huge gulp of water from my bottle, take my earphones out and walk back to the changing room. As I enter, I catch sight of Marley standing across the room wearing her sweatpants and a black sports bra, peering down at her perfect concave stomach and pinching her skin together with an exasperated sigh.

I stare at her body-with jealousy at first, but it soon turns to concern as realisation dawns on me. It isn't natural for hip bones and ribs to stick out like that, and her collarbone is clearly visible. She's far too thin, and it's my fault. I did this to her; I told her she needed to lose weight because I was so insecure with my own body, I didn't realise she'd take it this far.

"Marley." I manage to say, my voice croaky. She looks up at me with her, seemingly embarrassed yet still gorgeous, sapphire- blue eyes. "I..you…" I walk over to her but she flinches, as if she was afraid of me. Well, I guess she has a right to be.

She quickly pulls her long-sleeved t-shirt back on. It's cute, it's red with an owl on that's sitting on a branch, but that doesn't take my focus for long as she then takes off her sweats. She's surprisingly wearing a pair of sexy black panties and I can't help but gaze at her thigh gap. That is, until, I notice more scars on her legs.

These ones are much more prominent, deeper and darker and newer. I look back up at her as she dresses herself once more in her blue jeans that hang far too loosely off her slim frame. Although I'm terrified by what I'm seeing in front of me, this shadow of what was once a strong, confident girl, I can't help but admire, and envy, her will power.

"Marley. I thought you'd gotten over this." I tell her, stepping closer. I hadn't noticed before, but tears were dripping down my cheeks. I don't see how she can think that I'm in a worse position than her, and how she can tell me to get help without realising that she's the one who really needs it. "Marley you have to stop doing this to yourself, please! See Miss Pillsbury, see anyone."

"Leave me alone Kitty!"she bursts out suddenly, and I notice angry tears forming in her eyes but she wipes them away fiercely. "You are such a friggin' hypocrite! You want me to get help and get fat again just so you can continue to be skinnier? Well it won't work. You want to lose weight just as much as I do, the only difference is that you don't need to! But you say one word about this," she continues, gesturing to her stomach, "then I'll tell everyone about _your_ little stress reliever. I'm pretty sure Coach Sylvester won't want a head cheerleader that's that insecure about herself."

I gasp, shocked at her blackmail. "But Marley, you told me I need help, you even started to give me the whole 'glee- club- is- a- family' crap. You're in so much deeper than I am Marley, please listen to me."

"No." she tells me firmly, before picking up her bag and stalking out, her head held high.

I can't help but let out a sigh, I have to do something- but what? It's then that I notice something shining on the bench where Marley's bag was. I step towards it and see a small silver razor blade lying there. With a shaking hand, I pick it up and twirl it in my fingers. It's not bad, clearly sharp and not as flimsy as the ones I cut out from my disposable razors, but there's also a small red stain on the top corner.

I wonder what I should do with it and eventually decide to put it in my make- up bag along with mine. I change quickly, terrified that someone will come in and see me in my underwear, and then, after stuffing my clothes back into my bag, walk out and to my locker, just as the bell rings.

After swapping my gym bag for my rucksack, I close my locker and start to walk towards Geometry, my next class. I always hate this period; I barely know anyone who's in my class except Marley and our teacher is a sweaty, pervy eighty year old man who gets far too close when he looks over my work.

Thankfully, I realise, he isn't there when I arrive so I take a seat right at the back, as far away from his desk I can get. The room soon fills with dumb jocks and nerds and Cecily Figgins: The school slut. She's one of the last to arrive, wearing a barely-there boob tube **(What we British call tube tops ;))**, a tiny black skirt and shoes that must be at least five inches high. I'm amazed that she hasn't been expelled but then I remember: her dad is our principal and she's sleeping with pretty much every other male teacher to get better grades so they all say that she's their best student.

Then Marley walks in, the last student to enter and the only remaining seat is next to me. I see her look around anxiously, looking for somewhere else to sit but she realises that it's hopeless and sits herself beside me with a sigh.

I struggle through that lesson and am even more relieved than normal when the bell rings and I realise it's time for our morning break, a 15 minute slot usually spent with Jake behind the school with our tongues practically down each others' throats. However, I slip off to the bathroom before he meets me by the lockers like usual.

I'm thankful to find it empty and I walk into the last stall before putting the lid of the toilet down and locking the door. I resume the position I was in this morning in my bathroom and withdraw one of my blades. After lifting up my Cheerio's skirt, I bring it down on my already marked skin, re- opening the cuts there. I cry out a little before shushing myself and it's then that I feel the relief. I smile before repeating the action again and again, until I can't see my skin under the scarlet mess: Just the way I like it.

I clean my razor carefully with a piece of toilet roll before dabbing at my thighs until the blood flow has stopped. I flush the paper and unlock the door when I realise that Marley is standing in front of the mirror, rinsing her face with water. She looks up to see me and I realise that she's been crying, and she must have been wearing a hell of a lot of makeup before as now she's deathly pale and has huge bags under her eyes which I couldn't see at all before.

I don't comment though; I know she won't appreciate it and it's not like I haven't used make-up to cover up things I don't want people to see. For example: Just last week, my mother threw a piece of broken glass from a bottle I accidentally dropped at my face, cutting all up my cheek, and I had to use about three layers of concealer and foundation to cover it.

I start to wash my hands as Marley re-applies her makeup and, as I begin to dry them, she goes into a cubicle and I hear her cursing under her breath.

"Shit." She murmurs quietly. "What the fuck have I done with it?" She walks back out quickly and leaves the bathroom without saying anything to me. I presume she's looking for her blade but I'm hardly going to run after her and present it in the hallway am I?

As I rub my hands together to try and make them dry faster, I hear someone walk in.

"Hey Kitty!" They exclaim. I turn at the voice.

"Oh hey Tina." I reply, with just a touch less enthusiasm. She looks down and narrows her eyes confusedly.

"Er, Kitty. Are..are you..how do I put this..?"

I follow her gaze and realize that blood is trickling down my legs and has almost reached my ankles. Crap. I can feel myself going red.

"I..I e.." I stutter, looking away. She can't find out, nobody can. It's bad enough that Marley knows, but at least she'll keep quiet.

"It's okay Kitty, you don't need to be embarrassed." She tells me as starts rummaging in her bag and I stare at her, wondering what on earth she's doing. I have to stop myself from laughing with relief and amusement when she brings out a pack of tampons."I think I have some spare underwear too." She says, delving further inside.

I almost tell her that I've been on the pill for a year, convinced that I'd end up getting wasted at some party and be taken advantage of, but I stop myself. This is the perfect lie. She doesn't really suspect anything. I force myself to bite back a smile as she brings out a pair of pink boy shorts.

"Are these okay?" She asks, holding them and the tampons out. "I always keep a spare pair, just in case it comes early."

"They're great, thank you." I say and she smiles before applying some lipgloss and walking back out

**I hope you liked it, please comment if you have any ideas for future chapters (or if you actually want any more chapters!) and thank you to the followers and favourite-rs! Special thanks to the reviewers: EmoChildLovesYouToo, CatLover10808 and the Guest, what you said meant a lot so thank you :) I did see him, and I wasn't too bad but I doubt I'll ever see him again. Oh and, DEMI LOVATO IS GOING TO BE IN GLEE! (Also, Melissa Benoist and Blake Jenner are engaged apparently!)**


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